Hello Darkness, My Old Friend: Finding the Grey Area in the Dark Half of the Year
Welcome to the dark half of the year.
If you’re anything like me — and you struggle with all-or-nothing thinking — it can be easy to hate this time of year. One minute it’s “Is it summer yet?” and the next it’s “I love Christmas!” with very little room for the in-between.
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is real, and it hits especially hard here in Pittsburgh. The days get shorter, the light fades faster, and sometimes it feels like the darkness will last forever.
And yet… this season can also be an invitation.
A chance to slow down, rest, and reset.
Slowing Down in the Dark Season
This past weekend, I planned a girls’ night filled with all the cozy fall things: comfort food, warm drinks, and creative rituals.
Because it was Halloween, Day of the Dead, and Samhain, we did a candle-carving ritual. Each of us set an intention for the night — and for the final months of the year.
We shared our hopes, our energy, and our laughter.
There’s power in gathering with purpose. I jokingly called it my “Coven Night,” because honestly? Any time women come together with shared intention, a little magic happens.
Why Intentions Matter (Especially in Winter)
I’m sharing this because it’s so important to actively set intentions throughout the year, especially during darker, heavier months.
Doing it with friends can add a little sparkle to the season — so I strongly recommend putting a few uplifting activities on your calendar now. Something to look forward to when the days feel heavy.
Rituals are encouraged — never required.
Making Space for Yourself (Not Just Another Binge)
Along with community time, I hope you also carve out space for yourself.
And I mean more than another Gilmore Girls binge (again).
Set a date with yourself.
Take yourself out to dinner.
Enjoy a long bath.
Do something creative that feels nourishing.
For those of us who are used to being constantly busy, spending quiet time alone can feel uncomfortable at first. But the more we avoid it, the harder it becomes.
Building comfort with solitude is one of the most powerful ways to reconnect with yourself.
Gentle Winter Self-Care Ideas
You + Yourself
Eat a snack mindfully and notice it with all five senses
Gently apply lotion, offering gratitude to each part of your body
Plan a solo movie night that matches your current mood or intention
Start your morning with natural light to boost serotonin
Enjoy your morning coffee without distractions — no scrolling, no emails
Try a ritual (candle carving is a personal favorite)
You + Your People
Plan a gathering to share intentions and dreams
Cook and share a meal together
Host a cozy movie or craft night
Meet for a walk in nature
Host a swap party (clothes, recipes, holiday décor)
Try a group candle-carving ritual for collective intention-setting
Whatever you choose, approach it with intention and love.
Finding the Grey Area
When you do, you might start to notice the grey space between extremes — the place where rest and joy can coexist.
This cold, grey season doesn’t have to be all darkness or forced cheer.
You can create your own magic.
Joy is still here — sometimes it just needs an invitation.
Last week I talked about shining a light on the scaries.
Honestly? Lighting a candle with intention is a pretty good place to start.
What cozy rituals, gatherings, or small moments are you planning this winter?
I’d love to hear how you’re creating light in your own way.
👉 [Explore Online Therapy for Burnout & Overthinking]
Written by Candice Coughenour, LMFT
Licensed therapist specializing in overthinking, people-pleasing, burnout, and emotional overwhelm.
Helping people-pleasing perfectionists set boundaries, reduce burnout, and rediscover joy.
