Why Decision Fatigue Hits So Hard
And why freezing doesn’t mean you’re failing
For people-pleasing perfectionists, every decision carries extra emotional weight.
It’s rarely just yes or no.
It’s a ticking time bomb of:
What if I disappoint someone?
What if I pick the wrong thing?
What if it’s not what I expected and everyone hates it?
What if I don’t finish it, my boss gets mad, I lose my job, my apartment, and end up sharing a room with my mom’s treadmill?
(We’ve all been there.)
Decision fatigue doesn’t always look like “I can’t decide.”
Sometimes it feels like the fate of everything rests on one small choice — what to eat, what to say, whether to rest or push through.
Here’s the truth:
It’s probably not that deep.
But your brain doesn’t know that.
What’s Actually Happening in Your Brain
When your nervous system senses potential threat (aka “what if this goes wrong?”), it floods your body with stress signals.
Problem-solving shuts down.
Protection takes over.
That’s why you freeze, scroll aimlessly, or rewatch Gilmore Girls instead of checking a single thing off your list.
It’s not laziness.
It’s biology.
So What Can You Do?
There’s a lot I could say about working through the freeze response — and we’ll get there. For now, let’s start simple.
When you hit that “I can’t even” wall:
Notice.
Just naming it — “Wow, I’m in decision fatigue right now” — matters. Awareness without judgment is powerful.
Pause.
That tiny moment between awareness and action is gold. It gives your brain and body a chance to reconnect.
(Yes, even if you still end up groaning through another Christopher storyline. The pause still counts.)
Decision fatigue doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means your brain has reached its limit for mental gymnastics.
Feeling frozen or foggy is your body asking you to pause, not push.
Some days you’ll need to act.
Some days you’ll need to rest.
Most days it’s a combo deal — guided by your actual needs, not guilt.
The Simple Framework (That Actually Works)
Once you get better at noticing decision fatigue, the next steps are:
Regulate → Ask → Take One Small Step
Even recognizing the pattern is progress.
Over time, these pauses become the bridge between freeze and flow.
A Gentle Reminder
Decision fatigue doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means you’re tired.
You’re doing your best in a world that asks you to choose constantly.
If you want extra support, I created a Decision Fatigue Rescue Guide — a simple, printable tool with grounding exercises, reflection questions, and a checklist for those “I can’t make one more decision” moments.
👉 Link your free download here
Keep it close. It’s made for the days when your effort is real but your brain disagrees.
You’re not broken.
You’re just tired. And that’s okay. 💛
Written by Candice Coughenour, LMFT
Licensed therapist specializing in overthinking, people-pleasing, burnout, and emotional overwhelm.
Helping people-pleasing perfectionists set boundaries, reduce burnout, and rediscover joy.
