More Than One Thing Can Be True at a Time
Do you ever feel torn between yes and no, rest and productivity, calm and chaos—
like wanting to set a boundary but also feeling guilty, or loving your work while wishing for more free time?
You’re not alone.
One of the most freeing shifts for people-pleasing perfectionists is realizing that more than one thing can be true at the same time.
When Everything Feels Like “Either / Or”
Many of us fall into all-or-nothing thinking:
Either I’m productive or I’m lazy
Either I’m kind or I’m selfish
Either I’m doing great or I’m falling apart
But most of life doesn’t live at the extremes.
It lives in the in-between.
In the gray areas.
More Than One Thing Can Be True
You can:
✨ Feel proud of your accomplishments and still crave rest
✨ Care deeply for others and put yourself first
✨ Feel grief and relief at the same time
Holding multiple truths doesn’t make you indecisive or inconsistent.
It makes you human.
When you let go of the pressure to “pick a side,” you create space for curiosity, compassion, and clarity.
Allowing complexity helps soften overthinking, ease guilt, and deepen your understanding of what you actually need.
Some choices are clear.
Many are layered.
And that’s not a mistake that’s growth.
A Gentle Reflection to Try This Week
If you’re feeling conflicted, try this:
Notice a moment where you feel pulled in two directions
Write down what you know to be true about the situation
Ask yourself: What thoughts, feelings, or actions can coexist here?
Observe what shifts when you stop forcing yourself to choose just one
Growth Opportunities
Mindfulness:
Sit quietly for one minute and name two truths about your day.
Let both exist without judgment.
Boundary Reminder:
Saying “yes” to yourself doesn’t make you selfish… it makes you balanced.
Life isn’t about choosing sides.
Freedom comes from letting your full truth unfold
messy, complex, and beautifully human.
If you’ve had a moment recently where two truths coexisted — joy and sadness, confidence and fear — you’re not doing it wrong.
You’re doing it honestly.
Written by Candice Coughenour, LMFT
Licensed therapist specializing in overthinking, people-pleasing, burnout, and emotional overwhelm.
Helping people-pleasing perfectionists set boundaries, reduce burnout, and rediscover joy.
