Park Reflections: Modeling Connection for the Next Generation
I overheard an adult talking to a kid (maybe 5 years old) at the park:
“Go introduce yourself and ask if they want to play with you.”
I cringed. Not because it’s unreasonable, but because that’s a big ask for a kiddo
, especially one who wasn’t even showing interest in playing, let alone with others.
I’m a little bummed to admit I didn’t step into that moment. We had to leave (thanks to my niece’s very small bladder), but still… it felt like a missed opportunity.
How amazing would it have been if I’d walked over, introduced myself to the adult, and created a moment where both of us could connect? Not just for us, but to show the kids what connection actually looks like in real time. To normalize it. To model it.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot since.
As someone who isn’t a parent, I sometimes let my inner critic convince me I don’t quite belong in those spaces that somehow the adults around me (who I assume are parents) know better.
And sure, in many ways, they probably do.
But here’s what I do know: connecting with people and building relationships is literally my job. It’s something I practice, something I’m good at.
So next time I’m at the park and I notice a group of adults not really engaging, I’m going to lean into that. I’m going to practice making a connection. Maybe it’ll create a ripple. Maybe the little ones will see that and realize they can do it too.
Because honestly, it feels a bit off to expect kids to do something we’re not actively practicing ourselves.
Do what you say. Mean what you say.
Reminders for Next Time
Model the behavior first: Instead of prompting a child to initiate, show them what it looks like: simple greetings, curiosity, openness.
Start small: A smile, eye contact, or a casual “Hey, how’s it going?” can go a long way in creating connections.
Invite, don’t instruct: Kids often respond better to shared experiences than pressure. “Want to go say hi together?” can feel safer.
Check readiness: Not every child is in the mood to connect and that’s okay. Honor that.
Practice self-awareness: Notice when your inner critic is speaking and gently challenge it with what you know to be true about your strengths.
Create micro-moments: Even brief interactions can model confidence, kindness, and community.
Next time, I’ll take the opportunity.
Somewhat Congruent,
Candice
P.S I have a new Aggressively Human post on the new website!!
Aggressively Human: How small phrases shape generational patterns.
Lessons From My Inner Child and the Children Who Call Me Aunt Candice.
You don’t have to figure this out alone.
Join the Somewhat Congruent Community and listen along on Spotify
Or visit Congruent Soul Therapy
